| happiness (masculine noun) | /bɔnœʀ/

In her mock 1997 graduation speech, commonly know as “Wear Sunscreen,” Mary Schmich states: “The real troubles in your life are apt to be things that never crossed your worried mind, the kind that blindside you at 4 p.m. on some idle Tuesday.” We speak of life’s watershed moments, milestones like graduation and birthdays, events that are timed and dated and drastically change the trajectory of our lives; but what about those experiences that cannot be captured on a timeline? What about those? I can’t tell you the exact date of my first heartbreak, but I can tell you that the skies were deceptively sunny that day. I can tell you how I felt as I watched him walk down the stairs for the very last time, and how he looked up and said, “Goodbye.” And I can tell you how I wept, swearing I could never ever survive. But, no, I cannot tell you the date or time.

Today is just another idle Thursday. It’s cloudy. But today I’ve decided to “run screaming toward joy.” I have been held prisoner for too long. I have nursed my sadness for too long, and as a week of tearful goodbyes approaches, I will not allow myself to dampen imminent adventures with my eyes turned toward the past. Fuck you, nostalgia. I will run forward, and I will capture joy.

About Gabriella

I'm a twenty-something insomniac with a caffeine addiction and chronic wanderlust. I recently graduated with my M.A. in French, and I've spent the past two years living and working as an English teacher in France. I now work as an English professor at a university in Lille, where my students are learning to never omit the Oxford comma.
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